Random Experiences

When I can't trace my feet to the places that made me happy I would think of you, I would see you; a bag of beautiful mischief, a gentle full moon bringing light to my darkness and in that moment I would travel every road I wish we traveled together till I remember to smile, till my eyes carry a picture of you, that anyone who looks at me closely enough would find you as the reason for my Happy. When I can't trace my thoughts to the places that made me happy, I would think about my hand reaching for your face, cupping it in my hands and remembering why I chose you, I'll remember my hand racing through your hair, ruffling it, while I listened to you whine about how you had just fixed it.  When I can't trace my thoughts to the places that made me happy, I would remember the nights I sat and listened to you talk about how work was stressful and how you needed to get a project done and your colleagues were been unreasonable, how I would smile and reassure you everything was...

We are barely half into May and I can categorically tell you, I've been through five different talking stages this year alone. Don't drag me😕, some lasted two weeks, other's more. I am just so un-interested in doing this love thing sometimes. I have made zero efforts and it's not my fault, I just have not seen a reason why I should. You know what is wild? It is the fact that the other day I discovered one of my talking stage had a girlfriend, a woman that he has being with for over three years 😂😂, this woman is capable of beating the both of us. It is a good thing I was un-interested, because that is how they will say "I stole someone's man". Innocent Divine ooo. I know I want love, at the same time, I want to enjoy my singleness, not enjoy in the sense that you people take it to be, I mean like achieve, be successful, reach certain milestones as a single woman before I commit. At the same time, I must tell you the pressure is crazy, considering my sist...

I've learned to be in pain and smile I've learned to go about on an empty stomach, hide it's growling and smile I've learned to suffer and still smile To be in sorrow and heart-watching anguish and still smile I've learned to cover my stretch marks and smile perfectly into the camera as the "perfect" woman I am. The world has given my gravel to chew  And act like my teeth is not hurting I have been taught the art of walking around with thorns in my flesh and pretending they do not hurt I've learned to be homeless and still smile I've learned to have no clothes and still smile Oh Yes! I've perfected the art of dying and still smiling But I don't want to pretend anymore That's why I have laid my soul bare before you all I just want to take this mask off. . . . 

There was something familiar about the face, It took me a moment to realise that the stranger had my own eyes and some of my own features, But the woman stranger was not a self potrait,  No! Instead she was what I wished to be, An every woman who is shadowed, powerful, regal, complete in herself and compelling because of it. She was the woman who had a soul, That which is of the eternal kind, The type poets writes about and legends are written of. She was ME and I was HER...

I love, LOVE. I mean, I am a firm believer of love and all there is to love. I am a preacher of love in every ramification😅. The problem is I've not fancied myself in love in the last three years. Hold up🙄, before you judge me and send me to the gallows, I have loved before🤷‍♀️. Infact I have loved three good times in my entire adult life. However, after the last love fell apart, I "unconsciously" made a decision to pursue what I really wanted and don't get me wrong, they were all wonderful men, with sweet hearts. It just never worked out.  I mean, I see lovers and I go mushy and swoon over them, until I have a man in my DMs and I'm all "shooo, shooo, shooo, go away and leave me the heck alone".  It took me last year to realize that I needed to make room for someone who wasn't family or friend and become more open to the idea of being romantically involved again, even though my spirit is fighting this decision and I'm still doing hard girl😭. ...

His name was Farhan. The year was 2019 and I was rounding up my Master's degree in Literature from the University of Ibadan. You would think I would be into my thesis, but alas I was head over heels in love with Farhan and "disserting" my thesis. He was not just some man, he was my man, I loved him with all I had, even though it was not so much at that time😕, but we were happy. He was happy, I was happy. Farhan had these bright eyes and smile that always had me smiling sheepishly as though I was teenager. The butterflies in my stomach were unbearable anytime I caught a whiff of his scent. How we met? We were supposed to be flatmates, he was hardly around, I was the constant. We went from looking for a house together to being in love and texting everyday for long hours, he was my 30 plus man. I was the joker, he was my king. Our love rose to the peak, we were in the galaxies, but we both knew, we had an agreement, not that we spoke of it or wrote it down, or signed it, bu...